Baroness Shackleton and The University of Exeter recently collaborated on a study, looking at key questions couples should ask before embarking on a serious relationship. This is timely as Love Island, is back on our screens. The study identified 10 questions which couples should ask themselves, to identify that this is a relationship worth building:-
Are we a ‘good fit’? Many of them had started as “friends”, with intimacy developing.
Do we have a strong basis of friendship? Friendship is essential.
Do we want the same things? Aligned values, hopes, dreams and expectations are crucial.
Are our expectations realistic? Particularly of marriage and relationships.
Do we generally see the best in each other? This is vital, as is being able to make allowances, when necessary.
Do we both work at keeping our relationship vibrant? Demonstrated in daily rituals and small regular acts of thoughtfulness.
Do we feel we can discuss things and raise issues with each other? So important to talk about their day and about deeper level issues.
Are we both committed to working through hard times? Vital to be able to pull together during adversity.
Would we pull together to get through stressful times? Crucial to be able to do so, coping with pressures such as bereavement, an affair, financial difficulties or parenthood.
Do we each have supportive people around us? Close supportive networks of family and friends enriching their lives is so important. Women particularly cherish this.
The behaviour of some of the contestants may appear brutal and selfish. Failure to provide the right answer often leads to a quick “adios”. Perhaps they have something? Establishing compatibility and accepting that if it isn’t truly there may necessitate a small initial wrench, could perhaps avoid great heartache/divorce further down the road.